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You can say that there are two sorts of individuals on this world: people who stake the corners of the tent down earlier than erecting the poles, and people who slide the poles by means of the tent sleeves first and stake the corners of the tent down final.
In fact, there are such a lot of different kinds of individuals on this world—there are individuals who have another person pitch their tent, individuals who glamp, individuals who sleep in a hammock…hell, there are even individuals who have by no means pitched a tent as soon as of their life and haven’t any need to start out the method now, thanks very a lot. However I’m speaking about individuals who matter right here, and amongst individuals who matter, there are two sorts of individuals: those that stake first, and those that stake final.
It looks like a easy distinction that should not have any true consequence on one’s life or id, however the course of by which you erect a tent says loads about who you’re as a person. Staking the perimeters first implies that you’re assured sufficient to know, certainly, that the spot you picked out to your tent would be the good spot, even after it’s absolutely erected. Some may name that unwavering confidence “vanity.” Staking the tent final implies that you simply’re a bit extra whimsical and liable to altering your thoughts, and possibly after you get the poles contained in the tent sleeves and see the factor in all its glory, you’ll wish to transfer it to a barely totally different location. Some may name that indecision “flighty.”
“Stakes first” individuals are rule followers. “Stakes final” individuals assume guidelines are cute options. “Stakes first” individuals have 401(okay)s. “Stakes final” individuals are counting on sandwich loyalty punch playing cards as a retirement plan.
Apart from being in settlement that tenting is superior, “stakes first” individuals in all probability won’t see eye to eye with “stakes final” individuals on lots of points. For example, there’s likelihood that everybody within the “stakes final” camp insists on torching their marshmallows on the top of the stick once they’re making s’mores, whereas everybody within the “stakes first” group in all probability roasts their marshmallows slowly, cautious to caramelize the sugar deal with however not burn it. “Stakes first” individuals like Pearl Jam, “stakes final” individuals like Nirvana, and so they’ll slap any idiot who disagrees.
It needs to be famous right here that the printed directions on all tents expressly let you know to stake down the corners of mentioned tent first. Don’t consider me? Go discover your tent and have a look at the directions sewn to the within of the stuff sack proper now. It’s proper there in black and white.
It also needs to be famous that I’ve been firmly planted within the “stakes final” group of individuals my complete life. It’s odd, as a result of I used to be raised by a “stakes firster.” Maybe my late-staking tendencies are an act of insurrection? I additionally burn my marshmallows, have been described typically as “flighty,” and, if I’m being fully trustworthy, received’t even trouble staking down my tent half the time.
Sure, I’ve learn the instructions on the tent, analyzing the graphic that clearly exhibits how you must stake the corners of the tent down first, then slide the poles into place. However I’ve at all times thought-about these instructions to be both A) a misprint; Or B) a entice. I’ve additionally at all times thought-about individuals who stake down their tent earlier than erecting it to be psychotic if not outright criminals.
I’m a “stakes final” or die sort of man. Nirvana over Pearl Jam. Burnt marshmallows all day.
Or so I believed.
I used to be tenting not too long ago with a gaggle of recent pals, one in all whom is a “stakes firster.” I mumbled some disparaging remark about his variety below my breath as we had been establishing our two-person tents, and he challenged me to a contest. I pitch my tent stakes final, he pitches his tent stakes first, the individual with the tautest tent wins. We had an identical constructions, so there might be no mistake concerning the victor. The gauntlet was thrown. He may as effectively have slapped me throughout the face with a glove and questioned my civility as a gentleman. The duel was on.
We every went to work erecting our tents in our personal strategies, and after we completed and stepped again from our short-term abodes, the outcomes had been simple: his tent was considerably tauter than mine. Not solely that, however he had a better time getting his poles by means of the sleeves and erecting his tent together with his corners staked first.
I used to be dumbfounded. My complete perception system had been shattered in a matter of minutes, and it hit me onerous. My complete life, I had been pitching tents the improper manner, however my near-religious fervor had blinded me. I’d even taught my very own kids to pitch tents the improper manner. I had been constructive that “stakes firsters” had been monsters, however in actuality, I used to be the monster.
I’ve been questioning lots of issues since that fateful day. What else have I gotten improper in my life? Ought to I take extra care when roasting marshmallows? Are sandwich loyalty packages not a viable retirement plan? Pricey god, have I been improper about Pearl Jam this complete time?
I don’t know something anymore. If anybody wants me, I’ll simply be right here questioning my very own existence whereas listening to the album “Ten” time and again.
Cowl picture courtesy of the writer.
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